Trick Gone Wrong?
by laharvey125
Summary: Itachi pesters Pein to upgrage their ancient internet service, but no luck. So he plays a trick on Pein, but with unexpected results... ::WARNING -- mild yaoi reference::


It was all Itachi's fault. Or that's what Pein said, but it was really his fault for being so stubborn.

Keeping tabs on everything in the ninja world required a faster internet connection than they currently had. Pein was confident that Sasori's spies and Zetsu's maneuvers more than compensated for the internet lag. Itachi filled out the needed forms to request an upgrade, but after each rejection his patience was beginning to wear thin. There was only way left to change Pein's mind, without his being aware of it, of course.

Even though he knew what he had to do, he dreaded it. He had known about this for some time, but thought it best to keep it secret. But desperate times called for desperate measures. He sat calmly at the computer every morning like he always did. Normally, he was quiet, but today he made a few noises, even a little giggle. That sure got some attention.

"What's so funny Itachi?" Kisame asked as he passed by. "It must be really funny to get a kick out of you."

"Oh its nothing really, forgive me."

Now his attention was really grabbed. He turned back and looked over his shoulder. "No really, tell me about it."

"Have you heard about these fan pairings?"

"Fan pairings?" Kisame scratched his head. "What are those?"

"I know this might be confusing, but apparently there are others watching our every movement from another world."

Kisame grabbed his sword and slipped into battle stance. He looked around him warily, just waiting to be ambushed. Itachi pulled his arm down and shook his head. "Don't worry, they can't actually come here. That's a longer story, but trust me, we're safe. If anything, they're on our side. Apparently this other world loves villains."

Kisame warily lowered his sword. "So what does this have to do with 'fan pairings'?"

"They like pairing us up with other people from our world. Just in theory though."

Kisame still looked completely confused.

"Here, I'll show you." Itachi clicked around for a few seconds. "This is a very popular pairing for me."

Kisame leaned closer to the screen. "Isn't that Haruno?"

Itachi nodded.

Kisame smiled widely. "I don't know about you, but she is kinda hot."

"She's not too bad on the eyes," Itachi concurred. "She has a thing for my brother though, which is a turn-off."

"Does everyone have a pairing like this?" He looked around to make sure no one else was listening in. Then he whispered in his ear. "Do I have one?"

Itachi nodded. "It's not as popular as mine, but you do have one."

Kisame blinked at the image pulled up on the screen. "No way, are you serious?"

"I'm afraid so. If it's true that opposites attract then it's truly a match made in heaven."

Kisame grimaced. "But Hinata of all people?!"

Itachi hid a smile behind his hand. "It's not so bad Kisame."

"But why!" Kisame kicked a nearby chair, nearly hitting Deidara.

"What is your problem?!" Deidara snapped. "I'm working over here, do you want to blow us all to smithereens?!"

"You don't need our help to do that, you klutz," Itachi mused aloud. "I thought that's why you're supposed to do that _outside_."

Deidara flushed. "Well, it's too cold outside today. But that doesn't matter! What are you idiots doing anyway?"

"Looking at fan pairings."

After Itachi clued him in, Deidara was very curious to see his. "I'm sure I have a lot, after all I am the sexiest member of Akatsuki."

"Hardly," Kisame sniffed.

"He does have more than you Kisame," Itachi admitted. "But this one is the most common."

"Me and Ino?" Deidara cocked his head thoughtfully to the side. Then he grinned. "Not bad."

"She looks just like you though," Itachi added. "Most likely that's why they paired you two together. Keep in mind this is a primitive world we're talking about."

"And you say none of this is based on reality?" Deidara asked. "We'll just see about that!"

"Will you [censored] idiots keep it [censored] down?!" Hidan growled, a stake was sticking through his leg. "Can't a guy practice his religion in peace?"

"Nothing about your religion is peaceful," Kisame growled, still bitter over the whole HinaKisa pairing.

"Oooh! Oooh! Check out Hidan's fan pairing! I wanna see that!" Deidara clapped his hands together.

Itachi grew pale and quickly shook his head. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Why, what's wrong?"

"Let's just say it opens up a whole new can of worms."

Hidan was beginning to get curious in spite of himself. "Just show me and get it over with," he huffed in an attempt to seem indifferent.

The others pressed close to Itachi, crowding him. He really didn't want to give in to the pressure, but he was sure the commotion-to-come would eventually get Pein's attention.

"Keep in mind that there aren't many girls this other world is aware of, so lots get recycled in these pairings."

"So there are others for me?" Kisame looked hopeful at last.

Itachi nodded. "But sometimes, well how do I say this? Some of the most popular pairings aren't with just girls."

The room got deathly quiet.

"What…do you mean…not just with girls?" Hidan narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You don't mean…"

Itachi nodded as he pulled up the dreaded image. Hidan's jaw dropped to the floor. Kisame and Deidara started laughing. Hidan swatted at them, but they kept just out of reach. "This isn't [censored] funny! I don't have any feelings for that[censored]!"

"Got something to share Hidan?" Deidara teased.

"There is nothing going on between us!" Hidan hollered. "No one hates Kakuzu more than me!"

"Please keep it down." Kakuzu poked his head in.

"Kakuzu come here, you've _got_ to see this!" Deidara beckoned.

Hidan tackled him. "Oh no he doesn't!"

Kakuzu watched Hidan begin strangling Deidara impassively. "Time is money and I waste neither."

With that, he left without a backwards glance. Itachi and Kisame watched the scuffle. "We should probably separate them," Itachi suggested.

"Go ahead by all means," Kisame said. Both hesitated, Hidan was nearly unstoppable when he was this angry. And it was Deidara's fault to begin with.

"Hidan! Deidara! What is the meaning of this?" Pein entered the room at last. Both separated at once. Pein looked at each in turn, waiting for an explanation. Hidan brushed past him muttering. Deidara remained silent. Pein turned his attention to Itachi and Kisame. "What is going on this morning?"

"Fan-pairings, sir." Kisame simply said.

Pein raised an eyebrow and gazed down at Itachi. "You didn't strike me as a time waster, Itachi. Don't you have work to be doing?"

"Work has been slow," Itachi supplied, irritated slightly that this distraction was beginning to make him look bad. "We were just having a little fun is all."

"Leader, they really are quite amazing!" Deidara seemed to have found his courage as well as his breath. "Itachi, does he have one as well? One more…well…normal?"

Itachi nodded, pulling up the image. "You're welcome to look if you're interested."

Pein drew close, peering over Itachi's shoulder. He looked solemn at first but Itachi was satisfied. Surely this would send him into a rage. Pein was a fairly calm man, but very much like Hidan when enraged. Then he would tell the Leader that this kind of junk was prevalent on slow internet service, and then he'd _have_ to grant the request and upgrade. To his surprise, a small knowing smile spread across the leader's lips. Was he…happy about it?

"Pein, where did you run off to?" Konan called out. At last she poked her head into the room. "Ah there you are! Where have you been? We still have to go over---"

"Come look at this," Pein gestured for her over his shoulder. The others stepped back to make room. Somehow this was getting pretty awkward. It had all been a joke up until now.

Konan approached and looked at the screen. "It's pretty cute," she admitted. "Me and Yahiko huh?" She sighed with a smile. "Looks like my secret's out."

Pein stiffened. "No, I don't think its Yahiko they're referring to. Look at all those piercings."

She looked harder, her smile erased. "Oh, so you're right." She straightened up. "Never mind then."

"W-wait a minute!" Pein grabbed her arm as she started to leave. "You mean you like Yahiko? But what about us? What about all those kisses?"

Kisame stuffed his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing. Deidara hurried back to his work, laughing silently. Itachi just felt sick. This was worse than anything he had ever imagined. He wished he had never mentioned it, slow internet service was better than the images that were popping into his head right now.

Now it was Konan's turn to blush. "Sorry Pein, it just gets so confusing. You really do act like Yahiko sometimes so I tend to forget."

Pein grew red. "So you only like me because I look like Yahiko?! You're using me?!"

Konan scowled. "You're using him. How is that any different?"

"I don't kiss myself!" He snapped.

"Fine, I'll keep my distance then," she snapped back, pulled her arm out of his grasp, and stormed away.

Pein glared after her, and then suddenly remembered there were others in the room. The others looked away from his piercing glare. He glared his fiercest at Itachi. "This is all your fault!"

"It wasn't me!" Itachi protested feebly. He wasn't scared often, but then again no one was scarier than Pein. "It's the computer--"

With a growl Pein unleashed two chakra disruption blades and began hacking at the computer. Itachi barely jumped back in time. The others too kept their distance as well. By the time Pein ran out of energy, the computer and the table it was on were nothing more than bits and pieces. His shoulders heaved and his breath ragged, he stormed out of the room. Deidara, Kisame, and Itachi watched after him. Nothing was said for several minutes.

Itachi smiled broadly, "Looks like my request will be granted after all."

Kisame looked at him suspiciously. "You mean…you did all this?"

"Oh the pairings really exist. I just chose to keep it a secret until now." Itachi shrugged. "I was only after faster internet service, but now that I think about it, we did need a new computer as well."

All three burst into laughter.


End file.
